The wounds I carry, she carries them too. The unshed tears in my head flow through her heart too .
If you really want to stab me do it without saying anything.
Even without love, I can live fine alone. It’s not like I’ve always had what I wanted. In my life not even once… I was never selfish nor full of greed. The things I want to do, the things I want, the things I wish for… have I ever even had any of those, for at least once in my whole life? I can live fine without love. I will find a way to survive. Dying is hell. Why is living supposed to be hell?
I did it because I thought I could die quickly if I lived like that. I couldn’t end my life, leaving behind my younger sister. I thought that if I lived that way I would get punished and end this crappy life early. But now I want to live. Because I have a reason to live.
Stop punishing yourself if you scared of your memories with me. Don’t do that… Just stab me like this not you. It is only when you can stand on your feet that I can disappear with easy from your sight.
Love is… what I gave you, Noona. That is love. After you lost it, you realized how precious it was. You’re regretting it to the degree you could vomit blood. No matter what price you have to pay, you want to find it again. That is love, right, Noona?
Eun Gi. Let’s run away. I will go wherever you want. To where no one can find. Run away with me. Seo Eun Gi.
Eun Gi is lying. It means she doesn’t believe me. It means she is angry at me. It means she can’t forgive me.
Eun Gi has come back. The Eun Gi I am seeing now is not the Eun Gi I knew before. What is it that she remembers? And what is it that she forgot? What is it that she let go? And what is it that she’s looking for? Even though Eun Gi has come back, I am still waiting for that kid. I won’t get exhausted, won’t get anxious, and won’t get… impatient.
The direction Eun Gi is trying to go, I don’t know. How you’re going to go that way. What you’re trying to do going that way. I don’t know. With what thoughts… With what mind she is taking that way… Even if I ask, Eun Gi won’t answer. The only thing I know, is that, I, next to Eun Gi who is going that way, it could be that I can’t go that way with her together.
Father, One day, a woman walked into my life. I hurt her deeply with the harshest words possible. I pushed her away as much as I could. But, she still came back to me. She is so much like me; I look at myself often when I look at her. She has the physical wounds that I have. The tears that fill my brain are flowing through her heart as well. I gave her those wounds. I made her cry. I should not have met her. I should not have allowed her to come into the life of a guy like me. Father, I’m regretting it. This is the first time… that I have ever regretted anything in my life.