I don’t think you can really be proud of being gay because it isn’t something you’ve done. You can only be proud of not being ashamed.
Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything outside you want, but whether there is anything inside that you have not yet unpacked.
There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse.
Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are.
Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
Believe in fate, but lean forward where fate can see you.
If you describe things as better than they are, you are considered to be a romantic; if you describe things as worse than they are, you will be called a realist; and if you describe things exactly as they are, you will be thought of as a satirist.
Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can’t help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you think of yourself doing it. And they don’t like that. That’s the famous joke: I don’t like peas, and I’m glad I don’t like them, because if I liked them I would eat them and I hate them.
What would you be like if you were the only person in the world? If you want to be truly happy you must be that person.
Fashion is a way of not having to decide who you are. Style is deciding who you are and being able to perpetuate it.
If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.
Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should marry a swan.
Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.
One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.
You must stop this interview now as I have come to end of my personality.
To live in the past is to miss today’s opportunities and tomorrow’s blessings.
When asked, ‘Shall I tell my mother I’m gay?’, I reply, ‘Never tell your mother anything.
It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn’t give enough.
Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.
The English think that incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.
No effort is required to define or even attain happiness, but enormous concentration is needed to abandon everything else.
However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?’
The young always have the same problem – how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.
Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.