What we don’t let out traps us. We think, No one else feels this way, I must be crazy. So we don’t say anything. And we become enveloped by a deep loneliness, not knowing where our feelings come from or what to do with them. Why do I feel this way?
You’ve got this amazing creature- yourself- that can breathe, dance, and cry. And you have a certain amount of moments (maybe a few million moments-but moments they are) and you have this chance to do absolutely anything- to reach out to another vulnerable & true. To dance on the roof of euphoria and pray beside the ocean to let go. We have the chance every moment to Be Alive and give to this world who needs each one of us so badly.
The truth is WE ALL ACHE. WE ALL HAVE GROWING PAINS and wonder if WE ARE OKAY adn enough + loved. THE THING IS – WE ARE. REALLY. WITHOUT the silver shoes and lepord print sheet. WE ARE ENOUGH WITHOUT all the things we buy to make us much more than we are or need to be we are simple and complex and rare as is.
I think God leaves me alone to let me find my own strength because no one else can give it to me. Sometimes it is very lonely. But I know the lonely times teach me the most. I must let go in order to let anything in. No one can love me, for me.
Mom and I were walking onteh beach and I was explaining to her how I wantd to “GET OVER all my INSECURITIES” and “La La… La..”…. and she looked at me and said “Sabrina, does anyone realy feel good about themselves for MORE than 5 minutes?” We both laughed. I was releaved to know she felt that way becuae she seems SO graceful, calm and beautiful, which she is.. but also full of so much more. Auestions, doubts + WONDER. I think that if we can aim for just five minutes a day of complete acceptance of ourselves, we are doing very well!
I believe in myself. I believe in my vision, my life, my talent, my art. More than anyone. No one can take that away from me.
Make what you most need to find
Barefoot travel allows you to get the true feel of a place.
The more I look around and listen I realize that I’m not alone. We are all facing choices that define us. No choice. However messy is without importance in the overall picture of our lives. We all at our own age have to claim something, even if it’s only our own confusion. I am in the middle of growing up and into myself.
Telling the truth is like exposing the underside of our wings. We only see that part when we fly.
I am afraid to show you who I really am, because if I show you who I really am, you might not like it–and that’s all I got.
If you’re not yourself, who will be?
May Sarton said, “the deeper you go, the more universal you become.” It’s a reminder to me that those things I try to convince myself I don’t need to admit are usually those things I need the most to say. Speaking the truth, in its most poignant details, is liberating and gives those around us the freedom to be real.
I have learned that frustration is allowed and talking it through is necessary.
I have learned that trying again is important and decisivness is good. I have learned that silence hurts. I have learned about starting over and releasing pride.
I have learned that I am enough… I have learned that no one else can LOVE ME – FOR ME.
I have learned to take a bit more off and rest a little deeper.
Driving to class with him. All I could think about was that it had been three days since I’d touched his face AND HE SEEMED so fine. I said, to him “you seem like you didn’t miss a beat.” He looked at me and said Sabrina, I’ve missed so many beats, I’ve MADE A RhytHM.
MUCKY drawing I AM FeeLing completely mucky today too. everyone at school seems so much tougher + pulled together and not so emotionally involved. I get so mad at MYSELF FOR ‘caring so deeply’ AND ‘MAINTAINING’ all this stuff in me that FEELS SO PATHectic. I want to put my tHINKing in HYBernation FOR A WHile.
TRYING TO FILL THE empty SPACE i don’t know if I will ever understand this Ache. Perhaps it is simpley and completely Love and what HAPPENS. at the end. Loss November 17, early morning
I have learned that trust comes and goes and love comes before hate. Elise age 10.
Honor your humanness and all of your feelings – the messy ones, the growing pains, the ache – because we can’t have the dark without the light.
We are all carrying so many things in our life and inside ourselves. Often it feels there is no place to put them down. Where do you place the questions you carry
I sat on the bench outside of class today and talked to Jon. I read to him from my journal, it was the part about the accordian player I was watching on the street last weekend. He said that an accordian is such a perfect metaphor for Love, because you are always opening, and closing, shifting, and getting air, and that’s how the music happens. True.
I feel quite lost INSIDE myself, like I’m looking for my train tracks for my life, as if they would just appear and solve the growing questions I seem to face (my reflection in the morning).