Parents don’t make mistakes because they don’t care, but because they care so deeply.
Reading to children at night, responding to their smiles with a smile, returning their vocalizations with one of your own, touching them, holding them – all of these further a child’s brain development and future potential, even in the earliest months.
Every time you give a parent a sense of success or of empowerment, you’re offering it to the baby indirectly. Because every time a parent looks at that baby and says ‘Oh, you’re so wonderful,’ that baby just bursts with feeling good about themselves.
Attachment to a baby is a long-term process, not a single, magical moment. The opportunity for bonding at birth may be compared to falling in love – staying in love takes longer and demands more work.
A newborn already has nine months of experience when she is born.
A family’s responses to crisis or to a new situation mirror those of a child. That is to say, the way a small child deals with a new challenge (for instance, learning to walk) has certain predictable stages: regression, anxiety, mastery, new energy, growth, and feedback for future achievement. These stages can also be seen in adults coping with new life events, whether positive or negative.
Families need families. Parents need to be parented. Grandparents, aunts, and uncles are back in fashion because they are necessary. Stresses on many families are out of proportion to anything two parents can handle.
You learn more from your mistakes than you do from your successes.
A grandchild is a miracle, but a renewed relationship with your own children is even a greater one.
Grandparents who want to be truly helpful will do well to keep their mouths shut and their opinions to themselves until these are requested.
All adults who care about a baby will naturally be in competition for that baby…. Each adult wishes that he or she could do each job a bit more skillfully for the infant or small child than the other.
A pregnant woman and her spouse dream of three babies–the perfect four-month-old who rewards them with smiles and musical cooing,the impaired baby, who changes each day, and the mysterious real baby whose presence is beginning to be evident in the motions of the fetus.